July 2004

Wednesday July 28, 2004
So, I went into labor again yesterday...This time I went to the doctor's office instead of the hospital. I am now on the prescription Terbutaline until Monday. I have to take a pill every four hours around the clock(yeah). My doctor also took me out of work until then( You know that I do NOT have a problem with that) After Monday if I go into labor again, then they will not try and stop her from coming...I'm excited but nervous that this time next week...I could be holding her!! This medicine makes me feel like CRAP!!! It's hard to breathe and I am experiencing nausea- whoop de doo! Well I need to go lay down just wanted to update you on our status...
Posted 7/28/2004 at 2:8 PM
2 Comments
I took T also!! Gurl i understand & i hope you get to feeling better.... i forgot to take mine a lot.... . don't do that! hehe... Well God bless & i'll be prayin' for ya!!
Posted 7/28/2004 at 2:28 PM by livingforever

oh my baby.

praying for you.
Posted 7/28/2004 at 11:28 PM by Monyikka
Monday July 26, 2004

Yeah so I went into pre-term labor this morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...I'm only 35 weeks along so I was kinda freaked out- but not that much. I woke up at 5am having some pain(sharp)but I didn't think there was much to it. Just thought she was laying on a nerve or something. At 7 am the pain changed from sharp to dull and all through my lower body and I decided to call the doctor. When the on call doc called me back she says after hearing my symptoms," Kamella, we need to see you as soon as possible. Can you come to the Labor and Delivery floor of Banner Mesa Medical Center?" I was moved to tears I was so afraid! So Brandon called and I told him he did not have to leave work yet but to let me go and then if something was wrong or we needed him-then he could come.

So after taking CJ to daycare I get to the hospital at 9:50 where they did not even bother triaging me. They took me into an L&D room and hooked me right up to the monitors. I was contracting every 15 mins with "uterine irratablilty" in between...I started to freak...because #1 she's early and #2 I was quitting my job before my due date to relax and spend time doing things at my home and with my Christian. At 11 they gave me a shot of Terbutaline to stop my contractions at 11:30 I was having less contractions but still uterine irratibility so I get another shot of Terbutaline(which makes your heart beat fast and you shake like a dope fiend) They went away and I was discharged @ noon. I'm having mixed emotions about today.... I still like I am so unprepared to have her and here they are medicating me to keep her in!!! I am in nesting instinct mode but I have to take it easy today and I am fighting myself to not get up and clean my entire house! Sorry so long...I will go now
Posted 7/26/2004 at 5:54 PM
1 Comments
Let that girl OUT!!! She wants out!! =)
Posted 7/27/2004 at 5:8 PM by NiciB
Friday July 23, 2004

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. 10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. Matthew 6: 9-13

Our pastor made such a good point about this verse last night...we have allowed this prayer to become token, and have lost reverence for it. It's just something uttered before sporting events-SPORTING EVENTS!! and other godless things. We as a body need to take this back from the world, internalize it and show them the true meaning of it. Think about it.
Posted 7/23/2004 at 11:38 AM
2 Comments
aaaaaamennnnn
Posted 7/23/2004 at 2:45 PM by livingforever
How did the "Pink-SLip-Serving" go? I know, I know they begged didn't they.. I knew it they begged...
Posted 7/23/2004 at 3:27 PM by NiciB
Thursday July 22, 2004

I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!! Brandon surprised me with my very own camcorder!! He promised me that I would have one when I was pregnant with Christian...but due to unforseen circumstances that was put on the WAY BACK burner. So yesterday we priced out a couple, and today he came to see me at work and he had a camcorder bag on his shoulder and I said,'Is that what I think it is?' and he said "Yep" I just jumped on him and was hugging him saying thank you, thank you, thank you...it is now 12:30am and we are playing with it...we've taped the cat, the bathroom, the kids' room...you name it...it's on tape! I can't wait to record our daughter's birth so at least one of our children's birth will be recorded...I hope Christian does not hate us for not having taped his. We are blessed to be more prepared for this baby than we were Christian and I hope he doesn't resent us for it...maybe that's just me preparing for the worse. Well I'm going to go eat my scallops(I LOVE SEAFOOD) that Brandon bought when he was out getting a tape for the camcorder...

TODAY IS QUITTING DAY! TOTS UNLIMITED IS OFFICIALLY BEING SERVED THEIR PINK SLIP OUT OF MY LIFE AND I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!! HALLELUJAH!
Posted 7/22/2004 at 3:33 AM
2 Comments
LOL PROPS~!~
Posted 7/22/2004 at 1:40 PM by livingforever
woooo stinkin hooo!
Posted 7/22/2004 at 2:8 PM by Monyikka
Wednesday July 21, 2004

I have a two year old....remember!!

So I buckled down and got one of those maternity-hold-up-the-belly-belts last night...I hope this thing works. It feels pretty good so far. My hubby doesn't feel very well-which worries me because when he doesn't feel well he's normally about 10 minutes from being dead!

The opportunity has presented itself to where I might be able to get a car!!! Me!?! I haven't had my own car in years! It is in really good shape and my cousin said that she would allow me to make payments for it...We have been praying for a vehicle for me so we will see what the Lord works out.

I just got a wave of some wicked nausea at the idea of going to get ready for work...isn't that sad? I'm tempted to skip the whole 2 week notice thing and never go back starting today...but that would show a lack of patience...
Posted 7/21/2004 at 12:38 PM
1 Comments

What's wrong with my brother? Man, everytime he gets sick it's a trip to the hospital for some crazy illness that noone ever gets!!! Send him my love.

Keep me in your prayers, I'm battling some nasty depression... I could just scream!!
Posted 7/21/2004 at 6:0 PM by NiciB
Tuesday July 20, 2004

Hey there !

I have 40 days left!!! WE are so excited! yesterday was pretty cool. My husband cleaned downstairs while i did christian's room(oh yeah christian's and the baby's room)

through the book i am reading...one thing i am trying to get way way down deep is...it's not about me! at all, has nothing to do with me, there is nothing i have in my own poower or will to do that will be productive in my life....I'm sure the bible says...looking to god te author and finisher of our faith...not Kamella westmoreland!! now i just have to walk in it...which is easier said than done but i know how much more glorious my existance would be if i can internalize this.

i am putting in my two week notice at my job on thursday which makes my last day of work..august 5, 2004. happy birthday nicole!! words cannot express how elated i am to come back home and be wife and mother to my family. kinda nervous about not having the extra income...but as previously posted..the lord blessed us with this baby and he will take care of her just as he has been taking care of us.

some c0-workers are throwing me a baby shower on july 31st and man am i grateful. my mom would do it but she's a little busy dealing with this drug addicition thing--did i mention she's been dealing with it for over 25 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anywho, i'll be so happy to be around my friends and family and just dedicate a day to welcoming this baby to our lives. baby showers are such a blessing i don't know how we could afford to get everything we need for her and not go bankrupt in the process.--was that a tacky thing to say? oh well i gotta get ready for work(won't be saying that much longer....Halleujah!
Posted 7/20/2004 at 11:56 AM
1 Comments

HOLY CRAP!!!!

U did it you have a XANGA SITE HALLELUJAH!!!! Can i just say wow about the book, Purpose Driven Life.... I love you and wow Happy Birthday to me and you get the tightest gift of all!!! Love u and YEAH!!!
Posted 7/20/2004 at 4:21 PM by NiciB
Monday July 19, 2004

Yeah so it's 6:30 am and I am so tired I cannot see straight...but can I sleep? NO! Why? I am 34 weeks pregnant and my daughter is awake...so, I'm awake!! 6 weeks left...thank you Lord!

Man on man did the Lord deliver a word yesterday at church- Got leaven? The Lord told me I did like three weeks but was not specific as to what it was....some of it came out and yesterday's message. I love when the Lord speaks to me---ABSOLUTLEY love it. I cannot wait until next Sunday to get more of that message. Pastor said we are just beginning to touch the surface. Hallelujah!

Brandon and I are doing...Splendiforus--word?!? Anywho...we took the opportunity to talk with one another Saturday night(til 3 am!!) and reconnected in a way that was very powerful. I didn't even know how disconnected I felt from him until after the fact. If that makes any sense!

We went to Cliff's house yesterday where Brandon and I took Christian swimming. Now, my son is two-do you think he is afraid of the water? Quite the contrary let me assure you. He took running jumps into the pool into our arms and 95% of the time held his breath until he was lifted from the pool. He "swam" under water after I gave him a little push about 1 foot in front of the stairs and he went to them and got out of the pool..He can also lift himself out! We need to get his little "NO FEAR" self some swimming lessons as I do not want him to depend on floaties.

Well my night wasn't so great....CJ did manage to swallow some air and water at the pool and it made his stomach hurt and he whined for me for hours after we got out. When he was with daddy he anted me and vice versa..so I gave him some soda to help him burp and that helped alot...not to mention the gas he had behind it.

Well that's enough from me....I'm getting ready to talk to my husband b4 I go to work..which I am quitting in the NEAR future..but that's another post...sorry this one is so long
Posted 7/19/2004 at 9:55 AM
1 Comments

I love how as I read your post, I can hear your voice as you enunciate certain words!! I love it, I love it! It's so fun, it's like you're talking to me.

And I think I mentioned already that I'm excited that you have xanga...

Nothing much else to say except I love you girl. :)
Posted 7/19/2004 at 8:46 PM by Mirandypants
Saturday July 17, 2004

I REALLY NEED TO GET THIS OUT...............

So I didn't get everything done that I wanted to but that's okay. I left my mother's house a couple of hours ago...I really hate going over there. After 21 years I am so sick of seeing her high all the time. It used to make me angry and then embarrassed-but now it just makes me really sad that I see someone trying to kill themselves on a daily basis. What's even worse is she has my 7 year old sister to take care of and I don't have to wonder about the care she is in- I know FIRST hand how terrible it is! I can't rescue her and it hurts like nothing ever has. I feel like I have failed her. I definitely have my hands full here at home but I would be willing to take her on just to get her away from a 50 year old crack addicted mother and give her some type of meaningful childhood.(Try explaining that one to Brandon!) I know that I am to leave and cleave but I cannot separate my feelings of mothering and protecting my sister....I love her so much, and I want to provide her with so much and I SO want her to be in a godly home and around godly people and my hands are hog tied around my back. I'll just have to hit my kness on this one. Not to mention Christian loves his "Nana" and his "Titi Nunie" so much and asks for them all the time. It's kinda hard to tell a two year old,"Honey, I know you want to go see your Nana, but Mommy doesn't want you to get a hold of her crack pipe."!!! Even more, what if she passes out and you wander about and get into something your not supposed to! I am angry that she has put me in that position that I even have to have this issue with my son. If you remember, please pray for this WHOLE situation....mostly for salvation- the rest will follow....
Posted 7/17/2004 at 8:12 PM
3 Comments
I know you don't know me, but I was roaming around and saw your entry. I'll be praying for your mom and your fam. sarah
Posted 7/17/2004 at 8:26 PM by momanchick
Praying for you & family. Jesus is there... trust that He will move in your family. I do!!!!!! Hang in there gurl.
Posted 7/17/2004 at 9:10 PM by livingforever
Hi. Love you. Praying. What can I really stinkin' say? No words-- just prayers.
Posted 7/17/2004 at 9:56 PM by Monyikka
Saturday July 17, 2004
Okay, so it's Saturday and still no luck on the picture uploading thing...I will figure it out later. I have a pretty busy day today. I have to return some things to my mother's house,consign some of Christian's clothes and run by Target. Both of my boys (Christian and Brandon) are feeling a bit under the weather, I hope it doesn't last too long. I have 43 days for my pregnancy to be over and man are we excited! Christian is getting super clingy lately and that is okay. I have no idea how he is going to act with a newborn babe in the house. Every time I worry that I will just not be able to function with two young children I cannot help but think- the Lord is the one who blessed us with children in the first place and that our children will never be a curse to us only a blessing. He created life and he saw fit to place yet another child in my womb and that is very comforting. Thank you Jesus for blessing us with this baby please continue to grow me as a woman of God so that I may be an example to those around me as well as my daughter. Even now I know this is not going to be easy but it is what you have chosen me to endure and I know that you will bless me in it.
Posted 7/17/2004 at 11:55 AM
1 Comments

Hi Kamella! Glad to see you on xanga. :) I can't believe it's only 43 days until sweet 'lil baby girl comes out! Wow, time has sure flown by...

Now, you're right! 2 kids is a handful, but you're also right when you say that God knew and ordained this day for you! I'm so glad you can take comfort in that! You're a great mom and that baby girl is blessed to be yours.

Love ya girl and see you all tamale.

Miranda
Posted 7/17/2004 at 12:59 PM by Mirandypants
Friday July 16, 2004
Well, let's see....I just started this today and I am frustrated because I cannot get the pic I want to upload onto my page....other than that, all is well. Getting ready for work...YEAH!!! :-(
Posted 7/16/2004 at 1:0 PM

People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do...When someone is in your life for a REASON,it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.They have come to assist you through a difficulty,or to provide you with guidance and support,to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be....Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end....Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on....When people come into your life for a SEASON,it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends....LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life.

-Could not determine the original author. I didn't write it.


I just went through the reason stage of a relationship. God answered an unspoken desire of my heart in this time. Never saw it coming, then it was upon me, and now its over. It ended abruptly, but it was bound to end anyway. There really is no predetermined way to decide how these 'reason' things end. I'm grateful (warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful) for what this relationship afforded me, taught me, showed me, the personal way I was able to grow. But as the poem reads, it is now time to move on. I have so much peace about this. I am satisfied with the outcome. To God, I say thank you for answering the unspoken prayer of my heart, showing me that you truly care for every aspect of my being. And to my friend, blessings on your journey as you go through your own reason, season, and lifetime relationships. Thank you for being a part of my life, you have served your purpose.

I feel a BLAH post coming on......

Psalm 37:25 (Amplified Bible)
I have been young and now am old, yet have I not seen the [uncompromisingly] righteous forsaken or their seed begging bread.

How many of you know that we serve a God of provision? I'm not just talking about financial or material things here. God provides. He has given us more than we could have ever imagined in Jesus. More than we ever could think we ever needed. Plus. In addition. And then some. What sticks out to me about the above verse is UNCOMPROMISINGLY...oh look there is a condition....we must be in line with the first part to receive the promise of the second. How many times have we in our own power gone to lengths or taken paths that have not been God's will for our lives, possibly compromising ourselves or our integrity... AND then turn to Him and say... "OK God I feel forsaken...things are rough for me right now. You didn't hold up your end of the bargain!" TELL ME I'M NOT JUST TALKING TO MYSELF HERE! I've doubted His love and His care for me when times have gotten hard. I've tried to plan all KINDS of solutions to get myself out of all kinds of situations. But all in all, what I've not done is TRUST Him to be who He says He is. He knows the number of hairs coming out of my scalp. He fashioned the mind that I dare use to doubt Him. He is not out to get me! He cares for issues that I don't even know I have. He cares for what I have now and what I have coming down the road. There is a choice that must be made when living a life dedicated to Christ, we must choose to believe and act and line ourselves up with the difficulties, the challenges, the "but it hurts for me to do that Daddy's" to get to the point where those "blessings" abundantly flow. Now of course I'm not saying we EARN anything God gives, He has given us ALL things freely in Christ...but we also cannot lose sight in that we must be obedient to that which He calls us to be obedient to or else we disqualify ourselves for the promises...disobedience puts us on the path to more refining moments, more purging, more things that may be unsavory to get us to turn around and run to our Father. So here's the deal....I know enough to know that despite what I see around me or what I feel is the case...God is who He is. He is and has always and will always be faithful to me. He will never leave me and He will always take me back no matter how or why I stray. I'm not perfect and we both know it. I choose to believe that He will never leave me and that whatever He gives me IS for my good and for his GLORY.

It started out as an idea....

That I had when I was 20 years old. "I'd like to be a cosmetologist one day" I've always liked doing hair and playing in makeup...why not? For the next few years, I read cosmetology text books, I was permitted to assist my friends in doing wedding parties, spent some time at salons asking questions and watching transformations. I was afraid to actually venture out into doing it for a while though. Being a Christian stay at home mommy meant that I could not (nor should I WANT to) pursue a career outside of the home. I actually felt horrible for having the desire. I felt sooooo guilty. I put a GREAT DEAL of thought and prayer and counsel into the choice to start school. I started August 6, 2007. The road has been paved with ups and downs, happiness and sadness, job gains and losses, withdrawing, moving across the country, and tomorrow I will be done with school. TOMORROW. HOURS FROM THIS MOMENT!!!! I really cannot even believe it. I think it will hit me when I clock out tomorrow or when I get up on Friday morning and realize that I don't HAVE to go to school. I did it. I am so proud of myself. I've been saying that I feel like I belong to a different group of people, the people that dream and set and accomplish goals. It sounds soo corny but I feel like I am free to dream.....like I can put my heart, mind, and effort into something and accomplish it! I know it sounds corny, I'm just being open. My life is getting ready to change...and with that change comes a whole other set of obstacles, but I believe I will make it through. I'm so greatful that I have had friends support me this whole journey, it feels so very wonderful to have people in my life that love me and support me in my life! They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I'm finding the same to be true for a mommy going back to school...it takes the support of some awesome people!

It's time for me to go to bed. I just had to get all of this out of my head before doing so. Next time I blog, I'll be a cosmetology school GRADUATE! YOWZA!!!!!!!


Love you, mean it.

Kamella.

7 days, 5 exams, and 3 practicals

Away from graduating cosmetology school! The HEAT is on and I am feeling it. I am mentally and physically drained! This last month has taken a toll on me but I have my eye on the finish/beginning line. I see the tape and hear the gun all in one vision! So much of our lives is invested in this goal being accomplished and I cannot truly convey the excitement I have in putting this one in the record books. There is still the issue of me finding a job and securing childcare for Zekie, but I am learning that doubting God and his ability and willingness to care for me, is plain just getting old and is so not worth the effort. So in the words of Mary Mary(Can't believe I just said that)"I just can't give up now, I've come to far from where I started from, nobody told me the road would be easy and I don't believe he's brought me this far to leave me.". Going to unwind now.

Love you, mean it.

Ciao!

Wii blogging

Wowee Kazowe! this is so wicked awesome. Is it bad that I am too lazy to go to the office? I just had a super great Applebees 2 for 20 date night with my friend Laura. Talk about much needed talk time! I am really enjoying building a relationship with her! Had a really good day overall...not any complaints. Looking forward to being off school these next two days. Happy days!! Enough wii blogging for now. How boring is this post? Sorry!
Love you, mean it.

Well Okay then....

The house is quiet and I am taking a few moments to myself. YES! I'm sixteen(school) days away from graduating and excited doesn't even encompass truly how I feel! I am now among those who set AND accomplish goals! This journey began in Aug 2007 and was supposed to end the end of 2008. Well here we are Jan 2010! What a LONG road! This is the end. This is the beginning. This I didn't go through this process alone..I've had the support and patience of my husband and our children, friends and family who have babysat and offered encouragement and it wasn't all for nothing. THIS is HAPPENING!!! I'm a little apprehensive about entering the beauty industry or better yet just starting out at this point in my life...I go to school with teenagers and YOUNG 20 somethings...at times I feel like I waited too long to start and that there is no place for me in the field, but I'm not allowing myself to believe a word of it! I am VERY ready for this!

Perhaps I'll write more later...it's time to get in bed.

Love you mean it.

Ciao!